he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
