Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
