"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
