so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
