I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
