moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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