So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
