just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
