marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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