HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
