I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
