He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
