"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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