My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
