i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did i walk over a car last night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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