Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I AM VODKA MAN
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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