my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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