he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
