I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
