I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's always time for handjobs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
