Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
