Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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