so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
