He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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