hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
