We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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