His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
