Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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