Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
