just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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