Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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