I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
