I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
