i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Enjoy the penises
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
