It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
