Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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