Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
