Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
