I just threw up on my dentist
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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