Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
