my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
