hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
