Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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