Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
