nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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