brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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