help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
