I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
soo... how was my night?
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