My Higher Power is John Stamos
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
