I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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