I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
