Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
