3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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