I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
