After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
