She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you never un-have a 4some
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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